I have been wanted to write on this thing for a while and I haven't forgotten about my recovery blog and it's just life gets ahead of you and you just don't have time to sit down and update about whats going on in recovery. A year ago at this time I had a boyfriend and sadly I picked him over my recovery which is a major no no! I also finally got divorced from my ex husband and that was a two year drawn out process that is finally over. I have had major changes as my service in my group! I'm the alternate Gr now and I like it. I just have a little more understanding as what alanon means for me and what it is doing and how I'm getting the best out of my recovery and how the program works for me. I don't have a sponsor and I'm kind of sad. I found an amazing sponsor who just led me in the right direction and then out of the blue she just leaves and I'm upset because I finally got what I needed and I was working my steps at the pase I wanted to and she had to hurt me and leave like she did. My old sponsor and I are still really good friends and we talk but we don't talk like a sponsor and a sponsee. I want to be a sponsor someday but first I want to work on myself and get myself in the direction I want to be in. I'm also not dating for a year because I just want to take this time to focus on me and my recovery. I need to take care of me and thats what I know is best so I'm going to grasp that and work on it. It will be two years in November since I have been in alanon and I have to say that I'm not the bitter person I used to be and I'm not so much a worry wart anymore. I don't let people upsetting me ruin my great day and I can laugh and be funny and just be myself not hold back like I used to. I can also be honest and open about the opinions that I express and I can just talk. I have changed mentally emotionally and physically and I like what I see. I still have debbie downer days but those have lessened alot and I just have 5 minutes of being mad or haveing bad feelings and I move on. I just have a better picture of who I am and who I want to become and I'm thankful that I can live a great life with great people and I don't have to change for anyone. I used to think that If I changed for the other person that they would just accept me but now I don't think that way. I still have destored thinking and I'm still sick but I'm on my path to getting better and thats where I want to stay. I just want everyone to know that I'm doing this recovery for ME and no one else. I'm doing this at the pase that I want to do it and I don't have to change for anyone. I'm not choosing anyone over this again and I'm going to roll with the punches!
I have to go now
Kinley
