Whats going on in my very own recovery today?

Today things are going amazingly well! I have an amazing sponsor! I just love her so much! We talk just about everyday! I don't have a car right now so it's hard to get to meetings but I am thankful to have the friends and family that I have and they help me with my sanity LOL! Work is also busy because it's thanksgiving but I still take ME time! I still do things that I want to do and I make time to put myself first!
Anyways I hope to update again soon!
Kinley

My life today

I have been wanted to write on this thing for a while and I haven't forgotten about my recovery blog and it's just life gets ahead of you and you just don't have time to sit down and update about whats going on in recovery. A year ago at this time I had a boyfriend and sadly I picked him over my recovery which is a major no no! I also finally got divorced from my ex husband and that was a two year drawn out process that is finally over. I have had major changes as my service in my group! I'm the alternate Gr now and I like it. I just have a  little more understanding as what alanon means for me and what it is doing and how I'm getting the best out of my recovery and how the program works for me. I don't have a sponsor and I'm kind of sad. I found an amazing sponsor who just led me in the right direction and then out of the blue she just leaves and I'm upset because I finally got what I needed and I was working my steps at the pase I wanted to and she had to hurt me and leave like she did. My old sponsor and I are still really good friends and we talk but we don't talk like a sponsor and a sponsee. I want to be a sponsor someday but first I want to work on myself and get myself in the direction I want to be in. I'm also not dating for a year because I just want to take this time to focus on me and my recovery. I need to take care of me and thats what I know is best so I'm going to grasp that and work on it. It will be two years in November since I have been in alanon and I have to say that I'm not the bitter person I used to be and I'm not so much a worry wart anymore. I don't let people upsetting me ruin my great day and I can laugh and be funny and just be myself not hold back like I used to. I can also be honest and open about the opinions that I express and I can just talk. I have changed mentally emotionally and physically and I like what I see. I still have debbie downer days but those have lessened alot and I just have 5 minutes of being mad or haveing bad feelings and I move on. I just have a better picture of who I am and who I want to become and I'm thankful that I can live a great life with great people and I don't have to change for anyone. I used to think that If I changed for the other  person that they would just accept me but now I don't think that way. I still have destored thinking and I'm still sick but I'm on my path to getting better and thats where I want to stay. I just want everyone to know that I'm doing this recovery for ME and no one else. I'm doing this at the pase that I want to do it and I don't have to change for anyone. I'm not choosing anyone over this again and I'm going to roll with the punches!
I have to go now
Kinley

How I look at recovery

It just came to me!

I look at recovery like a little baby looks at life.

When your first coming into alanon it's a new environment and your scared to look at life the way other people in the program see it.

When your one year in the program it's like your just getting the jist of how to live your life based on the steps and your feeling more confortable in the environment that your in.

When your in for 2 or more years it's like your starting to really grow and really get a grasp of what lies ahead and you start really knowing how to live your life through the work of these twelve steps.

Recovery is a life long journey you will have ups and downs and you will always know the true meaning of why you come to meetings.

I love going to meetings it has really opened my eyes to who I really am today and I love the person I am today because I know how to live my life the way I live it today. I have learned how to live one day at a time.

I think thats all for today

Kinley

Who I am today

I am so thankful for the program of alanon because today I know exactly who I am.
I just finished my fourth step but I know that I'm a good person and I have issues just like everybody else. I'm still sick but I know how to control stuff like anger and other issues that come my way.

I still get emotional and break down sometimes but who doesn't? I mean you have to have a good cry every once in a while. My recovery is going well and I only plan to move forward and finish my steps!

one year later and I'm still kicking

SO.... I have been in alanon for a year. I don't have a sponser but I plan to find another one when I find the one that I relate to the most! I was dating for a while but I was feeling smothered and controled and used. I broke up with him and it was the best decision I ever made!
theres not much to say but I wanted to update! my views on things have also changed. I started reading a book called codependency no more and it's really good. I have learned alot from it. I know now that I have major codeopendency issues still but I'm working on them every single day. I may not read my alanon stuff everyday but I stilll work at my recovery.
I think I started dating too soon, I thought I was ready but in reality I should still wait.
I have to go now but here is an update
Love,
Kinley